Letters from Paris #4Written by Carolyn Heinzevendredi, le 11 mars, 2005. Marcadet Poissonniers, 18 ieme arrondissement Paris, FRANCE " Les amants et les amours. " If you are a foreign girl in Paris, there is one question that Parisian men are sure to ask repeatedly: "Do you have a boyfriend?" Similar to, "What's your sign?" and, "Do you come here often?" this inquiry is more of an icebreaker than anything else. Whether or not one already has other boyfriends, lovers or husbands seems of little importance to the men who contribute to Paris's reputation for romance. Answer in the negative, and they are more than happy to help you get out of this dilemma. Give a positive response, and they will tell you that while you may have lovers/boyfriends/husbands back home, you really need someone here. "Just remember something about the French," a hardcore New Yorker recently warned a starry-eyed nouvelle parisienne . "They use the same word for 'like' and 'love.'" True, sexual politics can be a little different here. Bill Clinton, for example, might have had an easier time being the president of France. "When the Lewinsky/Clinton scandal was taking place, the French couldn't believe what was happening. Of course he had a mistress - he was the President of the United States!" exclaimed a cute Parisian musician with a defiant drag on his cigarette. "[Former] French President François Mitterrand had a daughter with his mistress. What upset the French the most? Not that he cheated on his wife, but that he paid for his daughter's upbringing with the State's money." In a city where cinq à sept - Happy Hour - is a time for lovers, les aventures (love affairs) are a private matter. For North Americans who are accustomed to living in a society where everyone kisses and tells, the concept of having a private life where one's affairs are one's own business can seem attractive. Still, here in France, things aren't that black and white. "French men are the kings of playing games," lamented a pretty American journalist who has lived here for close to a decade. "They love drama, and you never know what they are up to. One minute you are having dinner with your boyfriend, and the next some woman walks up to your table, slaps him across the face, and storms out of the restaurant." "Perhaps affairs are tolerated a bit more here, but it really depends on the couple," confirmed the musician. "The worst thing for a relationship, however, is frustration. If it's understood that you are in love with each other, but you need variety, why not?" Which could explain why, in some Parisian neighborhoods, one can purchase flowers from a vending machine. (Carolyn Heinze is a freelance writer/editor working from Paris. Visit her Web site at http://www.carolynheinze.com .)
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